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Schwartz, Bob

I Run, Therefore I Am - Nuts

€ 18.95

Like a Dave Barry column that pokes fun at everyday life for millions of people, Schwartz`s musings on running bring knowing smiles and belly laughs to runners of all abilities. Illustrations by former "Mad Magazine" artist B.K. Taylor

Taal / Language : English

Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii
Part I Training---Avoiding the Fall From Pace and Belly Smacking into the Lactic Acid Pool
Rules to Run By (Heh, Heh, Heh)
Devious guidance from a jealous wall-battered running relic to a well-tapered novice
Just Call Me Gumby
Mr. Rigidity`s flexible foray into the limberland world of stretching
I`m Treadmill Man, Hear the Hum
Defecting to the electronic side and becoming the addicted and self-anointed champion of the revolving terrain
Around the Learning Curve
You better know how to talk the talk before you run the run
Kenyan Water Aerobics
The uncoordinated venture into cross training machinery for the mechanically challenged
Part II Racing---The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Da Feet 23(34)
Runner Mutation
Just pin that race number on the meek runner and let the personality transformation begin
Not So Scarlet Letters
You may never have to place that ignominious three-letter acronym on your T- shirt after all
City of Lard. Here I Come
How low will one overly fixated man go just to have something in his trophy case?
Parade Charade
Never discourage unjustified admiration, as reality can be highly overrated
Introduction to Ingurgitation
The tricky task of learning how to simultaneously run and ingest sport drinks without drowning
Turkey Lemmings
Thanksgiving turkey trot gone awry as a runner and his race are soon parted
Send in the Clowns
Can a live rock concert performance at mile 20 distract you from the unpleasant fact that you`ve just hit the wall big time?
Part III The Mindset of the Distance Runner---The Plentiful Peculiarities of the Perspiring Fanatic 57(34)
Trick or Feet
The inherent joy of being surrounded by the latest in polyester clothing and free nasal strips
A Streak Isn`t For the Meek
After consecutive days of running comes to an end, it`s good to learn the shoes will still come up tomorrow
Loony Ways of the Wayward Runner
One person`s peculiar actions are simply the rational running quirks of another
The Runner`s Better Half
To love, honor, and cherish for faster or slower, for sweaty or clean, in lactic acid buildup and perpetual carbo-loading
The runner`s love affair with cushioned soles, heel stability, and breathable synthetic mesh/leather uppers
Now Many Virtual Miles Do You Have?
Leveling the running field with the virtual reality of the training log
Mind of the lost
The danger of a memory bank operating as a warehouse of only running related facts
Part IV The Runner`s Multiple Skills---Abilities Uncovered in the Unbearable Heaviness of Breathing 91(24)
Tegla Take Two
How the super-human elite athletes and I are not cut from the same nylon running shorts
Aggrandizement Amplified
The continuous attempt to make you a bit jealous of my greatly embellished feats
Get Your Groove Thing
One person`s grinding gait is another`s graceful dance as we all move to the beat of a different runner
You Can`t lose Me Now
Even if we runners do indeed always wind up where we started, at least we`re clear on what`s around us
Exhilaration of Exhaustion
Can there actually be bliss in glycogen depletion and pleasure in delayed onset muscle soreness?
Part V Nutrition and Recovery---The Search for the Holy Snail and the Joy of C3---Couch, Chips, Clicker 115(22)
On My Wag Back to Candyland
The magical elixir may be in the sugar bowl and, if not, at least it`ll be a lot tastier than dry wheat gluten
It`s All in the Drool
Take it from the ignoramus of intensity, there can really be too much of a good thing
The Idle Truth
I may be in shape, I may have great stamina, I may train hard---but I`m truly as lazy as a sloth bear
The Missing Drink
Discovering the joys and perils of cafe latte
Part VI The Marathon---Would We Be Doing Any of This if Pheidippides Had Been in Just a Little Better Shape? 137(30)
Marathon Madness
The astounding allure of running 26.2 miles, otherwise known as maniacal masochism
From the Plains of Greece We Come
Who knew the history of the marathon could be funny? Certainly not Pheidippides. May he rest in peace
Rookie Runner, Hear Mg Words
Delivered from on (runner`s) high we receive the Ten Commandments of running store coach
The Answer Is Going to Be Yes
Time to get that Did Not Start off my running resume and join over 30,000 of my closest strangers on the Verazanno Bridge
Coach Rod and the Zone
The fascinating, monotone, chain-smoking visitor that arrives at the prerace warm-up for one`s second marathon
Part VII Injuries---What Tunes Does the Iliotibial Band Play? 167(16)
The Endorphinless Runner`s Low
Cross training through an injury works for some, but excessive amounts of food and TV works for others
Name That Ailment
Kick off your training shoes, put your sore legs up, and play along at home with the running (literally) game show
Run to Glory. or at Least the End of the Block
With my seemingly annual injury ritual, I`ve always been able to excel at impatience
Part VIII Aging Gracefully---If I`d Known It Could Be So Much Fun, I`d Have Done It Sooner 183(12)
Lifetime Taper for a Masterful Peak
Only a fanatical runner can find unbridled excitement at the prospect of turning 40
Which Wag Did it Go?
The consistent and fruitless search for that old missing in action thing called speed
Part IX Competition and Effort---I`d Whoop My Grandma in Tiddlywinks! 195(26)
Battle in the Basement
One man`s insane subterranean rage against the treadmill machine and the skid marks to show for it
Nocturnal Decathlon
Let`s face it deep down we`re all keenly competitive, but some of us just haven`t found our contest yet
Yo. Einstein! Recognize a Pattern Here?
Fast twitch, slow twitch, or nervous twitch---best to know what you are!
Best Laid Plans
Murphy`s laws of human incompetence meet Schwartz`s laws of running
Running Matters
I`m not really a pushy parent just because my kid`s first word was fartlek
Part X Motivation---To Thine Own Sole Be True 221(24)
Very Calculating Man
You may be mathematically inept, but you can still be a computation whiz in the world of running
Procrastinate Now
The fine art of learning that the sooner you delay a run, the more time you have to get it in
Twin Theories of Running Resourcefulness
Ingenious methods of never letting those darn old facts get in the way of the race results
The Motivator in the Hat
Who was that extraordinary, intelligent, and inspiring man in the captivating cap?
About the Author 245(2)
About the Illustrator 247
Extra informatie: 
Paperback / softback
247 pagina's
Januari 2001
431 gram
229 x 152 x 19 mm
Human Kinetics us

Levertijd: 5 tot 11 werkdagen